“Get up, it’s time for school!”
Finish your homework!
Clean your room!
Put your phone away!”
Nag. Nag. Nag...That’s not what we want your teen to hear.
When I was your age, I never….
I can’t believe you live like this…
You are so lazy…
When will you learn...
You drive me crazy when you….
Lecture. Lecture. Lecture….that’s not what we want your teen to hear.
If parents nag or lecture...modern teenagers won’t listen.
And in time....the relationship will weaken. That is not good.
And a weakened relationship may lead to your teen choosing lying, sneakiness, angry outbursts, avoiding or people-pleasing.
Parents...we all want you to be your best.
Allow me to support you...by telling you a story about the Smith family.
The morning school routine is a regular battle for many families, including the Smiths.
For the Smiths, the day consistently begins with Mom waking Sara up, her 13-year middle schooler, followed by Sam her 15-year-old.
They don’t wake up the first time.
Then again. Then again. Then again. Still not up.
Mom gets angry. She yells. She loses her temper.
On the car ride to school - she gives pep-talks.
Sara and Sam don’t enjoy this.
They react. They are moody...and salty. (Moodier and saltier than normal).
Mom’s minivan arrives late to both schools. There are no good-bye pleasantries.
The next day...REPEAT.
She is making a number of poor choices.
Here is what Mom could choose to do instead..and to be her best:
Too often, parents lose sight of how capable teenagers are.
Too often, parents lose sight that they are a part of the problem...and are not their best.
It is important to create a family system that gives your teen the opportunity to grow into their responsibilities and expectations.
Here’s the balance:
This is the stage in life to teach them new things. Rather than getting mad when your teen falls short, find supportive ways to connect with them, and use natural consequences.
...And in finding the system which works best for your family, so you can all be your best!
Co-Authored By Family Coaches Paul Scholz and Sean Donohue