Parenting Modern Teens (& Kids!)

Parent Coaching Teen Coaching Podcast Free Support Screen Addiction My Story Articles Contact Book Your Free Call Login

The Most Important Thing Your Tween/Teen Needs to Hear From You


Your tween/teenager is developing all kinds of opinions, trying to figure out where they fit in, and trying to figure out what they want in life. They are creating their image, their vibe, and their interests. 

And it’s a tall order for us to parent them through this!

Of all the things you are going to say to them, there is one thing that they need to hear from you the most…

…their identity. 

It’s an unhealthy temptation for our kids to base their identity on things that are temporary: 

Friend groups

Relationship status

Clothes and style 


beauty, body-type or healthy, non-acne skin

Performance in sports

Video game performance


Mistakes, failures, etc

(It’s an unhealthy temptation for us adults to do this as well.)

The problem? Those things all change! 

Sometimes they change often and without warning, especially as a teenager. 

It’s a chaotic and confusing time. 

If our kids base their identity and their mental health on temporary things and temporary people, when they do change, the child will/may crumble. 

Our Role As Parents

Be intentional about teaching your tween/teenager of who they are…at their core: They are a valuable son, a beloved daughter, a powerful brother, a special granddaughter, a unique and priceless human being.

They are enough. Just as they are. They don’t need to do anything. Prove anything. Show off. Act out. 

They are enough. 

Their identity is safe, secure, valuable and loved. People and things will always come and go, but because of their value in this family and in the world, they will always be ok, even when the temporary fades.  

Kids/teens who are regularly reminded of their identity are more confident, feel more connected, have higher self-esteem, and therefore, make better life choices. Once they reach full adulthood, all of that carries over! They become a secure and confident adult who excels at the skills they have put their mind to. 

No matter the phase that your child is in, who their friends are, what they are obsessed with at the moment…keep telling them who they are. 

And parent, if no one has reminded you lately, YOU are loved, good enough, and valuable!

Patsy Conner

Teen Coach

Click HERE to schedule a coaching session for your teen to meet with Patsy.

Click HERE to read “7 Truths EVERY Teen Girl Needs to Hear From Her Parents.”

Click HERE to learn how to create 180 change in your home! 

Share this article on social media!