5 Powerful Phrases To Say To Your Teen
The words of a parent are powerful.
Here at Parenting Modern Teens, it's our mission is to help make parenting teens easier and more enjoyable...
...we hope these five phrases help.
If you need more help getting your teen to listen and respect you, be a team-player with you, or you want new tools and support, consider contacting us for Teen Coaching, Parent Coaching or taking a Parenting Course from us.
. "This isn't working for me. Let's come together and work something out."
This phrase will help your teenager understand that the current dynamic is not working for you in a gentle and inviting manner. It invites them into problem-solving with you.
Your teen will hopefully feel honored and respected - and not feel attacked or defensive.
2. "You are a young adult and I am going to trust you with this. For us to do well during these teen years, we need to trust each other."
If you don't trust your teen, then family life is going to be a hot mess.
You are either going to over-parent, micromanage, and use a lot of "command and control"...
...or you are going to let your teenager walk all over you, lie to your face and pretty much run the house.
Trusting relationships are filled with good communication, kindness, and flexibility.
3. "This family comes before screens, sports, friends and everything else."
It's healthy to prioritize your family.
If a coach says that your kid's team comes before family...ignore him/her.
If a teacher says they have to study and not attend family dinner or the family outing...ignore him/her.
If anything or anyone gets in the way of your family...ignore them.
4. "I have feelings too. I care for your feelings and I want you to care for mine."
If you are my client...or my friend...or my daughter...then you know how much I talk about this phrase!
Kids and teens can be very self-absorbed and self-centered. While they have no problem talking about their own desires, they can be blind to the fact that other people have feelings too!
This gentle phrase will remind the teens in your life that you too are...a human being!
It's good for teens to be reminded that the whole world doesn't revolve around them.
5. "I am the parent and I can use my power in this, but I'd rather not. I'd rather us work together in this and create a Win/Win."
As you know, I am a big fan of using Win/Wins with teenagers!
My Parenting Teens Masterclass and our Family Coaching is filled with helpful tips and tools on how to use Win/Wins with teens.
Yet also as you know, I believe that the parents are the authority and they have the ability to use their power when they want.
Similar to #1 on this list, this phrase invites your teenager into a partnership with you. A conversation of two adults who will work together to create a Win/Win. And the phrase makes it clear that you'd rather do that than make the decision on your own.
Stay Strong. Be close. Teach Wisdom.
By Sean Donohue
Family Coach and Founder
We Coach Parents How to Make Parenting Teens Easier and More Enjoyable
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The Family Coaches of Parenting Modern Teens
We Help Parents Solve Painful Patterns and Behaviors...& Raise Wise, Mature Adults.
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