"My Dad Is A Total..." 4 Things You Want Your Kids To Say About You
“My dad is a total stud.”
“My dad is a gentle giant.”
“My dad is always working, he is never around.”
My dad is a d#@k."
“My dad is very caring, he is always there.”
“My dad is always on his phone.”
"I never see my dad."
When your child is asked, “What’s your dad like?” How will he/she respond?
In my 20+ years of asking kids and teens this very question, I have heard it all.
Here are four things you want your kids to say about you.
1. “My dad is so tough.”
Your children will learn lots of important stuff in school… math, history, science, writing… solid info.
But your kid’s school will not teach your children many of the most important life skills we all need.
For example, there is no class called "How To Handle Your Anger", “Perseverance 101”, "The Dangers of Victim Thinking", or “Being Tough and Wise When Life Gets Horrible.”
It’s not a school teacher’s job to teach your children to be gritty.
"Mental Toughness 101" is not in any curriculum.
So where will your kids learn to be gritty, driven, tough? To mature into a person who can stand strong...when their world falls apart?
Parents are teachers. This is a parent’s job.
Dads, when you live a life of grit, toughness and hard work – and when you stand strong when life gets crazy- your kids will notice. And they will say, “My dad is so tough.”
2. “My dad is kinda weird.”
Allow me to remind you: You are one of a kind. There is no one like you.
You have quirks. Unique interests. Unusual ideas.
When a father understands and celebrates his unique weirdness, he makes a good dad choice. By example, he teaches his children that all humans are different from each other – and that it’s good to be different.
As they get older, our kids will better understand their own uniqueness, and how they are different from other kids. Yet your kids won’t be ashamed of this.
Unlike many of their peers, your kids will feel comfortable being unique.
Why? Well, because they learned to love and accept their unique selves from their weirdo dad!
3. “My dad is fun.”
Dad, you know how to have fun. Before you had kids, you probably had lots of fun.
But now that you are a dad, do you still have fun? Do you have hobbies, passions and interests outside of your kids?
Or, have you fallen into the boring parent-trap? The trap where you now spend most of your free time playing on your phone, working, driving your kids around, watching a screen and living a fun-less, predictable, boring, #dadlife.
If you are living a boring #dadlife, there will be grave consequences.
Your kids (and spouse) will likely not enjoy your company…or look up to you.
You won’t make fun memories 
with your family.
Your kids will describe you as a boring, lame-o.
The remedy?
Live a balanced life full of passion, adventure...and have fun with, and without, your kids!
4. “My dad is good at talking about feelings…mine and his.”
Many of us are the first generation of dads who talk about feelings with our wives and kids. We are present. We are emotionally available. (Props to us.)
Most of us did not learn how to do this from our own fathers. We learned our emotions from books, social media, therapists, adult mentors...or relatable articles like this one.
Our generation is redefining masculinity.
The media didn’t do this. A Gillette commercial didn’t do this.
We did it. Everyday dads who are emotionally present, available and expressive.
Every time we practiced empathy.
Every time we cried.
Every time we said, “I feel…”
Every time we asked, “Tell me how you feel…”
Every time we said, “It’s OK to be emotional; I am here for you.”
Every time we live our life with grit, vulnerability, weirdness, fun and emotional awareness, we parent well…
...and we will like what we hear when our teen is asked, “What’s your dad like?”
Stay Strong. Be Close. Teach Wisdom.
Sean Donohue
Family Coach & Founder
Click HERE to go deeper with Sean.
Click HERE to read "3 Mistakes Parents Make With Screen Addiction!"
Click HERE for Sean's article, "Why Teens Need EQ Skills".
Click HERE to read Sean's article, "How To Evaluate Your Teen's Emotional Maturity".
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