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Say This Not That! Distance Learning Edition

 

Some parenting responses are better than others...

Sean Seays: If your son/daughter is 7-years-old or older, they are capable of independently setting their own alarm clock, eating a healthy breakfast, brushing their teeth, showering and getting to Distance Learning. 

Yet why would they do this is their parent is going to do it for them? They won't.

Why would they do a job if there is no consequence for not doing it? They won't.

Instead, make it clear this is their job, not yours.

Sean Says: Monitoring your kid during Distance Learning is exhausting.

Checking their online grades every day so stressful...for everyone.

This type of parenting fosters co-dependency, whining, excuses, immaturity, and is not helpful in raising healthy adults.

We monitor because we don't trust our kids.

But if you don't trust your children, you have much deeper issues to address in your child...and in your parenting approach...and this is not the way.

If you need help to build trust and motivation in your kids, contact us, and we'll give you some better solutions than monitoring.

Sean Says: If a parent believes it's their "job" to control and manage their kid, then get ready to see a hot, hot mess. This is not a healthy parenting belief. 

Controlling and managing may work when they are younger, but if you still do this with an 8th grader, the outcome will be constant tension, broken relationships, lying/hiding/excuses...and maybe defiance.

Instead, use your words to build esteem, independence and responsibility in your kids...and don't be afraid to allow them to reap the natural consequences.

 

Sean Says: Parenting is scary...and emotional. 

We don't want our kids to fail. Or hurt. Or suffer.

Soooooo.....we sometimes step in and rescue. We plan. We steer. These help us feel better...but they don't help ou kids.

Instead of making a plan for your kids, invite them to make one themselves and give the freedom to do it or not.

 

Sean Says: 6-7 hours of Distance Learning every day sucks.

Seriously. I hate it. I don't think it's a good idea. 

Our kids are not doing well with this. I want it to cancel it asap.

Someone needs to say this..and I am saying it!!!

Our kids are exhausted and stressed at 3pm every day. I know this because my team of coaches meets with tweens, teens and college students everyday for coaching sessions, and they tell us!

I would be doing horrible if I was forced to do Distance Learning... and I am a 42-year-old man with a friggin' Masters degree. 

Our kids need time after school to get outside, see friends in person, play sports, smile, roam, make adventures. They need this 7 days a week! 

Our kids need to prioritize their mental health...not their homework.

Sean Says: Here is a recipe for how to create a very unhealthy, unhappy teen:

Distance Learning 

+ unlimited screen time

+ no exercise

+ no outside friends or activities

= something not good.

Toddlers and small children are not mature enough to balance their own diet. Left alone their would fill their bellies with crap. We understand this and so we say to them, "Eat your vegetables first, and then you can have dessert."

Many teens are not mature enough to manage their own screen time. It's too tempting.  Instead, work with your teen to create a screen time flow that works for everyone =Win/Win.

 

If you need help with this, then come to my latest free, parenting class! 👉🏻  👉🏻

 

 

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Stay Strong. Be Close. Teach Wisdom.


Sean Donohue

Family Coach, Founder

ParentingModernTeens.com

Click HERE to go deeper with Sean.

Click HERE to read "3 Mistakes Parents Make With Screen Addiction!" 

Click HERE for Sean's article, "Why Teens Need EQ Skills".

Click HERE to read Sean's article, "How To Evaluate Your Teen's Emotional Maturity".

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