The MOST POPULAR question in the world, is also the worst.
Seriously, this is one, DUMB QUESTION.
While some kids/teens respond to it, most do not.
I won't even ask if you have heard that response before because I already know you have heard it a million times.
We get poor responses...because we are asking a poor question!
(And we wonder why our kids don't talk to us!)
Parents, here are 8 better questions which will help you get what you are looking for...
.....close conversation....human connection...feelings and emotion...ways to support....
Hint from our Coaches: Your teen may not want to talk right after school. Find a time that works for both of you!
1. Were there any cool or funny things that happened today?
People like talking about positive and funny things. This question invites your kid to relive something interesting or funny which, after a long day at school, could be positive for him/her. The question also invites you to listen and laugh along with them. Win/Win. This is a brilliant question.
2. What was the best moment of your day?
After a stressful day at school, your kid/teen may want to share a best moment to enjoy it again and let off some stress. "I got an A on my quiz"..."This my teacher farted"...I got invited to a sleepover this weekend,"
3. What was the most stressful moment of the day?
After a stressful say, some kids will not want to talk about stressful stuff...but others will. The only way you will know....is if you ask. And if they talk to you about this...be a good listener! If you react with nosyness, fear, anger, or some kind of weird and unwanted parent pep talk, they will probably shut down.
4. On a scale of 1-10, how stressful was your day?
A question with a 1-10 scale helps people communicate in a very concise and simple manner. If their stress number is high, then you will know to proceed gently and wisely.
These are your kids friends' names. You are asking about them. If you are close with your kid/teen, you will know the names of your kid's friends...And you will know who they sit and eat lunch with everyday.
If you don't know the names of your kid's friends, you are not thriving as a parent. And your kids are missing out on being close to their parent. You should probably watch this parenting webinar or hire a Family Coach to help you connect with your children. Being close to your kids is vital....and fun.
6. Was there any topic that you got excited about learning today?
It needs to be said. School can be sooooo....boring. This question helps you understand what topics excite your child/teen.
7. Who did you help today?
True story: I was giving a parenting seminar to a group of about 75 parents and I asked the group to tell me a question they ask their kid/teen which fosters communication. A dad stood up...and said he asks his son this question every day.
I flipped out...in a good way. The son actually enjoys answering this question AND he often has stories of how he helped someone! #STUD. I told the father I wanted his son to marry one of my daughters. #ArrangedMarriage.
8. Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk about with me?
This is a great question. It honors their space, their power, their individuality, and puts the ball in his/her court...Yes also makes it clear you are available for communication or support.
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Founder of ParentingModernTeens.com
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Click HERE to read “7 Things EVERY Teen Guy Needs to Hear From Her Parents.”
Click HERE to read "Mean, Spoiled Entitled NO MORE: How to Parent Your Teen Into a Caring, Mature, Young Adult."
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