How Ancient Wisdom Can Help Your Modern Family
It’s hard to know where to turn for help these days.
So many of us are suffering from issues around family struggles, COVID-19, racism, shelter-in-place, community policing and financial pain.
While these times may seem unprecedented we, as a human family, have overcome extreme adversity before.
There is an ancient practice that people are doing around the world RIGHT NOW to help...
Our individual life, our esteem, our joy, our mindset.
Our family relationships
Our world.
__________________________
Having a modern teenager can negatively affect your joy, your mindset and your self-esteem.
Consider these quotes we’ve heard from parents…
’I feel ashamed when my teen makes inappropriate jokes in front of you.’
OR
‘My teen makes me feel like a failure when they test positive for drugs.’
OR
‘There must be something wrong with me if my teen complains about hanging out with me.’
Truth: These statements have much more to do with how the parent feels ABOUT THEMSELVES than about their teen’s behavior.
So many of the problems modern families face, and that we are facing as a global community, start with a deep lack of love for one’s self.
We often hold onto the feeling that we are lacking in some way…
‘I’m not successful enough.’
‘I don't like my body . I just need to eat less and exercise harder.’
‘I’m no good at my job.’
‘Why does my wife put up with me?’'
‘I’m a lousy mother.’
And these thoughts come out in our actions.
We do harmful things...
-yelling at our loved ones
-people-pleasing and avoiding conflict
-working harder and longer hours
-buying expensive things (for ourselves, for our kids, etc.)
-drinking or doing drugs
-gambling
-unhealthy sex behaviors
-blaming others, etc...
In a world that can actually encourage these harmful behaviors, it’s not easy to turn the tide and cultivate love for yourself.
A deep practice of loving yourself can help you heal, grow and enjoy life more...
Feel more happiness and joy
Reduce ailments and achieve better health
Cultivate more patience
Increase mindfulness and emotional intelligence (EQ) skills
Free yourself from overworking, gambling, drinking, pornography, etc.
Have more peace in your life
Maintain ease in the midst of life’s mood swings
Retire from fighting with your kids or spouse
Become an authoritative parent
Resist command-and-control or passive parenting
Create win-win relationships in your family
Healthy conflict communication
Ask for the love you need
Feel safe in the world
Love the difficult people in your life
Increase mindfulness in your home and in the world
Set healthy boundaries (see Sean Donohue's article here)
Know what you truly want
Express yourself creatively
Ask for help
Practice excellent self-care
Listen well
Help your kids and spouse get what they truly want and need
Are you ready to create family change
by transforming how you feel about yourself?
___________________________
There is a mindfulness practice used for centuries by people of many cultures and faiths to stoke the fire of love for one’s self and for others. It is known generally as ‘Loving-Kindness’ (called 'Metta' in the Buddhist texts and "Unconditional love" or "Agape love" in the Bible).
I recently led a Mindfulness Experience series where I taught this powerful practice...
The Loving-Kindness practice uses simple phrases to allow the mind to focus and direct love to the people closest to you and beings around the world (including yourself).
If we are going to find creative ways to deal with the big problems of our day it’s going to start with learning to love and respect ourselves and our families.
And practices like the Loving-Kindness mindfulness exercise can help us heal, build healthy relationships and create positive change in the larger world.
Peace,
Sean P
Sean Potts
Family Coach
Click HERE to read Sean's article "Family Peace is Possible (even during Shelter-In-Home Craziness)" on mindfulness and de-stressing in the home.
Click HERE to schedule a "Parent Coaching" or "Teen Coaching" session with Sean or another PMT Coach.
Click HERE to find out more about PMT parenting classes!
Click HERE to read Sean's article, "Self-Care Can Save Your Family...and Your Teen".
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