4 Things To Create Before Shelter-In-Place Is Over!
Shelter in place has created new challenges for EVERYONE, especially our kids/teens:
- Adjusting to distanced learning
- Being cut off from their social lives
- Few outdoor, sports or exercise options
- Continuing to deal with difficulties of teenage life: moodiness, self-esteem, depression/anxiety, substance abuse, screen addiction, strife with siblings and/or parents.
- Few options for stress and anger management
On the other hand, shelter-at-home has given modern families AMPLE TIME to build our modern families.
Use this time wisely and intentionally!
We will all rejoice when it is over, but while we are in it - here are four things to create!
1. Create a Great House Rules Document
If you need a good House Rules document template, we have one HERE.
A well-written document will help minimize conflict communication and produce more harmony and obedience.
At your next family meeting, have an open discussion about what house rules may change, and what may remain, when quarantine is over.
The clearer guidelines are for our teens, the better we can set them up for success once normal life resumes.
2. Create A Predictable Structure For Consequences and Reconciliation (Without the Stupid Stuff)
Teens cannot be controlled. They always have a personal choice over the daily decisions that they make.
Teens don't like being nagged, reminded, scolded, grounded, yelled at or pep-talked.
That is the stupid stuff.
If you are doing a lot of this in your parenting- you are not thriving.
Just as house rules and guidelines need to be clear, how you (the parent) will respond when a rule is broken should be just as clear.
If they choose to break or rule, or choose to forget to do a responsibility, the parent response should not be nagging, reminding, avoiding, closing, caving, making excuses, yelling or pep-talks.
You need a better parenting approach.
A House Rules document which doesn't clearly articulate the follow-through plan for reconciliation and/or consequences is no plan at all.
3. Create A Family Process For Conflict Communication
Shelter-in-place is a great time to improve family conflict communication. It is probably the best time!
Every family needs a mindful process for how they do conflict management.
There are a number of ways that modern families do healthy communication together. Use this time to find your way!
(If you need amazing help with this, consider enrolling in the Parenting Teens Masterclass.)
4. Create Self-Care Habits and Routines
The more your teen can learn what great self-care is, the better they can tune-in with their emotions and personal behavior.
Self-care isn't just brushing your teeth and eating veggies every day.
Self-care means caring for the most important person in your life...yourself.
Self-care means having a powerful personal plan for when you get heated, stressed, depressed, emptied, etc.. Every tween/teen needs one.
Help your children to understand that their self-care, or lack of it, is directly connected to their emotions AND their behaviors. For better or worse.
Parents of teens need to pick their battles wisely...and this is a battle worth fighting for.
The season is difficult...but it won’t last forever.
Let’s set ourselves, our teens and our families up for success to be our best selves now... and once quarantine is over.
Sarah LaSalle and Sean Donohue
Family Coaches
Click HERE to read "5 Things Every Parent Should Say To Their Kids During Shelter-In-Place!"
Click HERE to read, "How To Lead a Great Family Meeting - Shelter-In-Place Edition!:
Click HERE to schedule a "Parent Coaching" or "Teen Coaching" session with Sean or a PMT Coach.
Click HERE for Sean's article, "Why Teens Need EQ Skills".
Click HERE to read Sean's article, "How To Evaluate Your Teen's Emotional Maturity".
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The Family Coaches of Parenting Modern Teens
We Help Parents Solve Painful Patterns and Behaviors...& Raise Wise, Mature Adults.
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